Software Update Required

Today I was innocently working on my laptop, as a person who oft freelances is wont to do, while watching Can’t Hardly Wait, (I will fall on the sword for 90’s teen rom-coms - let me live), when I saw a DM pop up on my phone. While I could spend time deconstructing the obvious mildly problematic issues surrounding this film in its modern day context, I will leave it alone, much like JNCO jeans or fugly satin slip dresses. Nay, I had more important things to attend to. Namely, my friends DM.

Their fits suck, but cut them SLACK

My trusted pal and I had been therapeutically chatting about the rise of thrift shopping, with I commenting that she had been doing it forever as a way to get her actual wardrobe, but that there was a rise amongst influencers doing it to get a new vibe. Thrifting was obviously now “cool,” (gross.) She puttered off into the non-DM world, only to ping right back a few minutes later and ask the following…

We is granny

I HAD TO FIND OUT. As someone who watches Complex’s Sneaker Shopping, followed Kith, has ordered shady things off of Grailed, and stalked Hypebeast with the enthusiasm and free abandon of a clown attending a clown convention, I thought I knew what fit meant. Or at least… I think I did? Fit, as in, someones Fila Disruptors and Offwhite shirt. “Great fit.” I personally do not refer to clothes as fit, (in case you haven’t already figured that out), however I know many fashion and streetwear bloggers do. Is it short for outfit? I had always thought I was the queen of shortening words… had I missed the beat on this? I, who refers to abbreviations as “abbrievs” and at one point had the word “air conditioning” down to “aircon.”

There we have it. I quickly scrambled for a good answer, and chose to go with my elected narrative where fit was short for outfit. It’s probably a lie. But can anyone disprove me? I THINK NOT. I retain my crown of eternal youthfulness and the world spins another day on its axis.

I am in the business of identity protection