Things I've Noticed As I've Become Elderly (23)
In commemoration of today marking the start of my 23rd year on this planety sphere we call Earth, I've decided to allow myself 20 points of rant based observations. Happy birthday me. You're great.
Nobody likes your when you're 23 (idk but if its in a song its obviously true.)
Your friends cavort off into the sunset of true luv while you eat Cool Ranch Doritos™
Your friends get their own plot arcs, and star in yours less
You claim to be busy "living laughing and loving" while really eating, sleeping, Netflixing
If those Cool Ranch Doritos™ do not stave off the slight craving for human attention, perhaps consider a gerbil?
You start being invited to an uncomfortably high number of weddings, which amplify at least two of the points made prior this one, as well as the notion of true love being ever so fleeting.
You pick up a rather cavalier "IDGAF" cavalier attitude towards the humans who love you and care about your well being. (Friends/family/dogs) Why? Because its adulthood and if someone can't be over in the next forty-five seconds to binge watch Scrotal Recall, did they ever really exist?
You may find yourself stuck on the barbed wire at the top of the fence between full-fledged adulthood and the floundering end of elder-adolescence-university-ness. You will have that barbed wire up your butt. For possibly a very long time.
Only 7 more years until I'm 30!!!
You start reviewing your life in a highly critical manner, appraising all your triumphs and failures. Scrutinizing all the ways I've used my time and the various goals that I've ever held, from different angles, wondering where I went wrong and exactly how I could have righted these wrongs had I the technology to go back in time and slap myself.
It becomes less acceptable to drink before noon, however that is the time in which you find yourself most needing a drink.
You may feel like you have less and less of your shit together.
There are more out of body experiences when you watch yourself interact with others and wonder how you emerged unscathed through life having been so awkward.
You finally grasp the fact that Facebook/Instagram are not the same as people's real lives, otherwise every girl you know would be perennially clad in an Aritzia onesie, in front of a white wall, holding an ice cream cone that they have no intention of eating.
You may feel gleeful at the degree of zero fucks given towards what other people think, whereas as a few years ago some people (me) were probably still trying to figure out whether or not I was breathing too much in comparison to others. Measuring ones breathing is tedious and takes a lot of work. Is not a very useful way to spend ones time. Would not recommend.
You appreciate time on your own/manage to form a "friendship" with yourself. You learn things such as the fact that Layla's fave drink is a Caesar.
You open your mind to things that you may have dismissed before, like meditation. (Must be Zen. Must be zen.)
You can definitely assert that this may just be the prime of your life, if only you can quickly figure out exactly what to do with it!
